Tuesday, June 1, 2010

OTR Tuesday

Greetings and condolences once again. It is well past time I reurn to some of the main features of the Blogue, and well I would be remiss if I were to post on a Tuesday and ignore one of my personal favourite entries, OTR Tuesday.

Here is one from a short lived series which originally aired from September of 1946 through to September of 1947 called Murder at Midnight. Unlike like some of the well known radio mysteries like Suspense, or Lights Out, which had large national affiliates airing the programs, Murder at Midnight was produced by and for a local NY radio station, WJZ. It is noted however that the producers were known to occasionally use scripts from other series such as Inner Sanctum.

I give you host Raymond Morgan and Murder at Midnight,

The Dead Come Back
G. Macabre

Sunday, May 30, 2010

100 things to do with a corpse

Use #12: Pinata Party

Well Folks Summer is upon us and nothing says party fun like pinatas! Here is an activity that is not only a creative way of using up one of those old corpses you have hanging around (oh, give me a break Uncle Forry would have used that pun), but can be fun for the whole neighborhood.

Naturally the entire corpse can be used, but I find it more festive to replace the limbs with colourful streamers. This not only maintains the festive atmosphere, but also makes it easier for little Johnny to get a good, successful whack on the pinata without being obstructed with a dessicated arm or leg. I recommend removing the lower torso from the pelvis down, maintaining the abdomen to fill with all of the treats and goodies. Some important notes to remember in order to make this a successful and quality pinata are that dried torsos alone are hard and leathery, and not prone to breaking apart in the manner in which you desire. The solution to this is by lightly burning or braising the corpse so as that the dermis is actually somewhat brittle. The alternative however is to use a more recent corps in a state of advanced decay, however this may have a slightly unpleasant aroma, particularly once broken which may have a lingering and generally unappealing effect on the candies contained within.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Road: all the makings for a zombie movie, but the zombies

What a fantastic base for an amazing zombie film. It had it all, a mysterious holocaust, stunning post apocalyptic visuals, just oozing atmosphere. Some truly superb acting. Fear and despair, resulting in tragic suicide as the world as we know it comes crashing down. Roaming bands of thugs, that would kill you for what little you possess (and probably even eat you too). A story of personal strength and determination in face of the ultimate adversity.

So what one single thing could make a zombie movie with so much going for it fail and drop to the depths of being possibly the most painful two hours I have spent watching a movie in a long time? How about not a single bleedin' zombie in the whole damn movie. What happens when you take the zombies out of a zombie movie? The answer NOT A GOD DAMNED THING. Boredom and tedium. This is the movie The Road.

OK, so in all fairness The Road was never actually a zombie movie. The idea of adding zombies would likely have made the writer and the director spew pea soup from every orifice. But it would have definitely made the whole thing a lot more watchable. Even on it's own merits, the roaming bands of cannibals could have made the film a lot more tense and interesting, but it failed miserably there too. Although they were clearly looking to avoid any trappings of an action flick and keep the whole production to some higher plane of artistic film making, they just managed to make a painfully dull and unimaginative picture. Good god, it made the Blair Witch Project seem watchable. If the idea was to create such an atmosphere of dread and despair that the audience can so relate to the characters that the viewer wants to put the Smith and Wesson in their mouth just to put an end to it, well then it is a success. But this is the only scenario in which I would consider it so. And I don't say this with the air of one of the many movie critics looking to make him/herself seem worldly and emotionally complex. Telling you this film will bring you to revelations of previously unexperienced emotional and psychological distress (hey for the fun of it lets label it emo-porn), because believe me there are better soul scorchers if leaving a theater with a sick feeling is your goal(Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door for one). As good as the book may have been (I admit to not reading it), this is just one long, amazingly boring and plotless wrek.

I'm thinking with some creative editing from a number of existing zombie fests, this movie could really be something, but until the time comes that someone goes to that effort I would strongly recommend avoiding it like... well, the zombie plague.

G. Macabre

Sunday, April 25, 2010

When Death Comes to Town

Greetings and condolences my fellow travelers. My journeys have indeed taken me from the might banks of the great Styx for a prolonged spell, but it is good to return. Here in the darkness little dramatic happens and passers by are not overly common, but that is not the case everywhere. In my recent journeys I have had the pleasure to observe comings and goings in two otherwise small communities. Insignificant as these locations are to the greater preoccupations of the living, it is somewhat ironic that the fates would choose these hamlets to play out the greatest of dramas, between good and evil, life and death.

The first of these would be the little town of Little Tall, a fictitious coastal community located just of the shore of Maine. It was this setting that legendary author, Stephen King, would base his story "Storm of the Century". In a three part television miniseries first aired in 1999, residents of Little Tall find themselves at the mercy of a great storm threatening their quiet island home.

While for many an author such a reckoning would be enough to build a story on. King himself has used storm stayed inhabitants successfully in his tales of horror before in "Misery" and the iconic "The Shining", but here it is simply background for a greater trial. Evil descends on the town in the form of a mysterious stranger by the name of Linoge who brings with him murder death and an unprecedented demand for the inhabitants. Before he will actually tell them of his demands, Linoge first chooses to torture, and literally as well as physically manipulate the residents to commit horrific murders. In a small town idle gossip is cheap and plentiful, thus one's wardrobe-skeletons are dear and well hidden. Naturally the mysterious Linoge mater-of-factly shares the towns peoples past transgressions and darkest secrets in the most public venues he can find, illustrating that innocence is lost as childhood is left behind. The implications are left obscure and presented for the most part as a vehicle for Linoge to demonstrate his supernatural omnipotence, but to an attentive and thoughtful these indiscretions make the story's eventual outcome more poignant and meaningful as King exposes this is as much a morality tale as it is a simple supernatural horror.

I myself have never been a big follower of Stephen King's novels, and even less so the eventual film treatments, but in this format really allows King's tale to be told as it should be and the viewer to digest all the nuances that studio executives tend to lack enough appreciation of the genre to see. Undoubtedly if you are a Stephen King fan, this is preaching to the choir, however if you are not familiar with this work "Storm of the Century" is a must see.

Not more than four of five hours away and a bit north from Little Tall Maine, is another fictitious community called Shuckton Ontario. Now in gaudy electric neon contrast to the events that occurred South of the border, infamous Canadian comedy troupe Kids In The Hall, tell this hamlet's tale of what happens when "Death Comes to Town". Here in series of eight half hour episodes, a Reaper is stuck on this the shittiest of routes with a job to do and a personal grudge (and a thing for chubby red-heads).

Like the townsfolk in Little Tall, the citizens of Shucton too have their secrets. Alcoholism, infidelity, lust, greed, as in Little Tall it's all there, but where other than Canadian television could one explore homosexual necrophilia and get by the network sensors.

Now I'll admit that I was hoping this little gem would have a bit more bloodshed and mayhem, but the subtle comedic jabs and the outlandish characterizations and situations that The Kids in the Hall are known for are extremely entertaining and satisfying to watch in this macabre tale of what happens when Death comes to town.

G. Macabre

Monday, January 4, 2010

A light hearted post for a New Year

Happiest of New Years to you my fellow travelers. As much as I thought that my online access was limited before in barracks, it seems my access while on holidays visiting in laws was worse. Honestly I didn't' know there was internet connections that slow and virtually unusable in first wold nation is the living world. Will be taking my laptop if that ever occurs again. Well before I go off ranting and get too far side tracked, here is a favourite macabre little ditty I have long forgotten. Nothing like sociopathic murderers in the guise of family entertainment. Long before there were shows like Greg the Bunny and Puppets Who Kill, or even movies like Puppet Master, there was the Muppet Show!